turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
