Screwed.edu
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
