last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
