I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
