All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
