Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize