so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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