I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
