oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
