Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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