The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
