He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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