Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
