Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
