put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
