Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
