Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize