Texts From Last Night

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  (940): View more from Texas

  That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone

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  (940): That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone http://tfl.nu/w4ug
  Replies (3) Good night (828) Bad night (1849)
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  (310): View more from California

  i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"

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  (310): i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto" http://tfl.nu/o359
  Replies (18) Good night (791) Bad night (4545)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high

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  (801): I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high http://tfl.nu/0yq2
  Replies (90) Good night (12358) Bad night (1287)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.

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  (602): You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy. http://tfl.nu/r33s
  Replies (15) Good night (3194) Bad night (874)
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  (718): View more from New York

  You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?

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  (718): You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish? http://tfl.nu/wvgn
  Replies (28) Good night (8754) Bad night (1579)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen

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  (570): throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen http://tfl.nu/quuc
  Replies (11) Good night (3786) Bad night (1503)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.

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  (781): I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together. http://tfl.nu/rbls
  Replies (4) Good night (3929) Bad night (943)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.

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  (573): We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition. http://tfl.nu/1p20
  Replies (7) Good night (2189) Bad night (976)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.

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  (319): captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL. http://tfl.nu/v9rp
  Replies (2) Good night (2679) Bad night (877)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass

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  (336): For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass http://tfl.nu/ljpj
  Replies (9) Good night (656) Bad night (1168)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.

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  (254): He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy. http://tfl.nu/6702
  Replies (12) Good night (766) Bad night (2192)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.

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  (631): Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week. http://tfl.nu/z2q6
  Replies (2) Good night (1183) Bad night (491)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?

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  (850): Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony? http://tfl.nu/sjtx
  Replies (10) Good night (603) Bad night (1061)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question

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  (319): Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question http://tfl.nu/zh3n
  Replies (7) Good night (1484) Bad night (586)
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  (213): View more from California

  I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.

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  (213): I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever. http://tfl.nu/344l
  Replies (1) Good night (1021) Bad night (362)

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