Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(269): View more from Michigan

So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.

(937): View more from Ohio

Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...

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(269): So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night. (937): Feels good to be wearing underwear again though... http://tfl.nu/djzk

Replies (2) Good night (3615) Bad night (661)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.

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(508): currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit. http://tfl.nu/vzj2

Replies (12) Good night (5597) Bad night (1107)
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(571): View more from Virginia

All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet

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(571): All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet http://tfl.nu/3sbr

Replies (4) Good night (5018) Bad night (968)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.

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(215): I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me. http://tfl.nu/0b6p

Replies (6) Good night (3387) Bad night (1309)
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(516): View more from New York

Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.

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(516): Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back. http://tfl.nu/h2g1

Replies (26) Good night (9381) Bad night (1122)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.

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(919): It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed. http://tfl.nu/521h

Replies (9) Good night (3295) Bad night (1331)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.

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(617): Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council. http://tfl.nu/w0zb

Replies (7) Good night (3052) Bad night (882)
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(952): View more from Minnesota

She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.

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(952): She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high. http://tfl.nu/dd7j

Replies (2) Good night (943) Bad night (641)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...

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(603): So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment... http://tfl.nu/nl0n

Replies (2) Good night (752) Bad night (512)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.

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(215): my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue. http://tfl.nu/4yma

Replies (0) Good night (733) Bad night (425)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level

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(508): New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level http://tfl.nu/zu28

Replies (5) Good night (451) Bad night (730)
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(818): View more from California

So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway

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(818): So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway http://tfl.nu/rhtw

Replies (1) Good night (677) Bad night (387)
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(330): View more from Ohio

I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.

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(330): I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it. http://tfl.nu/g09i

Replies (1) Good night (347) Bad night (485)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend

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(715): The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend http://tfl.nu/mjw0

Replies (0) Good night (401) Bad night (356)
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(949): View more from California

It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?

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(949): It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right? http://tfl.nu/5yrq

Replies (2) Good night (315) Bad night (174)

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