I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.