I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?