The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
