He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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