:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
