you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
It's never too late to be topless.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
