my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
