tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
