Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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