Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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