high people should be assigned attendants
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize