just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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