like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
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