I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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