Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Randomize
