Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Randomize