Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
