just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
