saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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