I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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