do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
