You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize