Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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