and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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