i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
