it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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