hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
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I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
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HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
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