she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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