We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
