My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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