Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Randomize
