Can Purell be used as lube?
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
