she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
