I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
