Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
