: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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