why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
