If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
