That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
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