I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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