Sry I called you an 8
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
how drunk are you?
Several
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
