if i died would you start the facebook group?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
