new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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