If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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