why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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