sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
